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Letter 22 - Let Them Choose

To the controllers of the family,


It is hard to see your loved ones, who are going in the wrong direction, crash and burn for the decisions that they have made. It is even more frustrating to know that at some point you tried to warn them that there was danger ahead. The guilt and agony of living with the helpless feeling can kill a person of weak substance. People make choices based on what is good for them. They have or haven’t weighed their options and found that a particular choice is one that feels right for them in their current position in life.


There are those who want to be personal directors of people, constantly overseeing every decision that is made. I’ve heard them being called controllers, people who get this thought in their heads that they know what is best for a person. Therefore, highly suggesting paths that will keep them in power over other’s lives. Subsequently, they argue their will over someone else’s choices.


This letter is not to leaders who spend quality time building disciples by imparting the truth of God’s word. I am talking to the controllers of the family. Those of you who love to control others. What I have found about these types of people, they don’t like to be controlled themselves. This relates to not fully allowing the Lord to set them free. 


There are two types of controllers: those dealing in witchcraft and those who have made bad decisions in the past. states that witchcraft is the exercise of control over people or events through sorcery or magic, the practice of using spells and chants (prayer) to be domineering over someone. There are quite a few people in churches that practice witchcraft in their spare time. There are even full-blown warlocks sitting in pulpits and/or on the first pew. They have set up camp to ensnare and entrap the people of God.


The Lord opened my eyes to witches and warlocks when I became pregnant with my son. Late one night He told me to not let anyone rub my stomach because someone was going to try to pass on a spirit to my child. I told my husband at the time that no one is to touch my stomach and do not allow them to. He was with it. I recall him rambling on about people and their germs and spirits. It was crazy how many people just walk up to a pregnant woman and rub on their bellies. I was blocking hands left and right. There were some bold demons that got upset because I wouldn’t allow them to touch my growing stomach. As my pregnancy moved along, God had me do a deep dive into witchcraft and their lasting events. Controllers using this methodology to reign are crafty and sneaky. If you are not in a constant state of prayer and communion with the Lord, receiving a piece of peppermint or gum from them will cause life altering harm, even to death.


My grandmother told me a story of a woman who wanted her husband. This lady was lusting badly for my grandfather. She put a spell (old folks call it a root) on the seeds of my grandparents. Many people do not believe in this, but I am here to tell you. The lady spoke a curse over my mom, aunts and uncles that is still causing chaos to this day. From my understanding, you don’t have to believe in it to be true. As long as the person who casts the spell does, it will be effective. The ignorance of many is their own downfall, perishing because of their lack of knowledge and belief that such evil exists (2 Corinthians 11:13-15). When it comes to this type of controller, a babe or untrained Christian will be brainwashed, manipulated and/or destroyed.


The second type of controller made some horrible decisions that they are still suffering from to date. They overcompensate for their choosing to do the wrong thing by micromanaging the lives of those they love and others that are around them.


Take an overbearing parent for example. That parent, in their youth, was the very definition of a wild child. Now they have children of their own. There’s a short, tight rope around the necks of the children. They do not get to do any of the things that the parent has done, which shaped their lives. The parent wants to shield them from making the same mistakes they did. The children call them the Fun Police who come around to suck the fun out of everything. The attempt to block force the children to do the right thing becomes of a full-time job. Funny thing though, their children still end up making the same choices they made. Some outcomes are life defining, others are life ending. Yet, it was the child’s choice to make, either way. The best way to show people love and care is by allowing them the freedom to choose. This is a common vice in the black community. We have come to view our children as mere property and possession to be controlled and manipulated for our purposes under the guise of authority and respect. In short, we have become akin to the original colonizers that enslaved people and forced Christianity on the oppressed for nefarious purposes.


We cannot teach something, then not allow for any application. For example, you cannot teach your child to save money but don’t give them an allowance to see if they will put what you have taught to practice. They may not save how and/or what you would have but they will get the hang of it for them. Give them the space, love, and forgiveness to be free to explore.


Controlling leaders of this kind are the worst. They teach the word, then stand guard to make sure it is followed to the tee. No! No! No! That is not how it’s supposed to be. The closest story I can come up with that demonstrates God’s love of allowing us to make our own decisions is that of Jonah. God told him to go speak a word to the people of Nineveh. He refused. His thought process for refusal was that God will change His mind. So nope, he wasn’t going. Eventually, after a timeout in the belly of a fish, he goes and speaks the word. Then he became salty when the people of Nineveh responded to the word and changed. Thereby, God relented on His word. Jonah had to learn a hard lesson about being obedient regardless of what God did after the word was spoken.


Pastors who want to control the outcome of what God told them to say or do are putting their people in bondage. Cutting off their free will to make decisions based on information, spiritual intellect, and God’s direction for them.


P.S. Controllers, let it go! Stop trying to rule everyone else’s lives and love them regardless. Especially if you are a leader. You must learn to dispense the Word of God to the people, then step back and allow for them to make their minds up for themselves. There is none without sin. No, not one. We have all fallen short in something, somewhere. Allow God to take the reins over you, which will free you up from your guilt. With that freedom, you will let others live their lives. For the warlocks and witches, no man knows the day nor hour for when the Son of Man shall return. Get your house in order. 



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